In Review
Now I come to the consensual part of safe sex. If you missed parts one and two, click the links! Consensual means that there is a consensus or an agreement between the parties involved. This is where the communication comes in between you and the dominant personality you are going to be playing with.
Two Sided
The communication isn’t just the Dom telling you what is going to happen, it is also you discussing things you are uncomfortable with but may be willing to explore. It’s also the time for you to express things you are completely against happening. Your opinion is very important at the beginning of a D/s relationship (as well as throughout!). If you only want to perform oral and they push you to receive anal, get out of there. They are not respecting you nor are they allowing you to be safe in your sexual explorations.
Clarity is Vital
Even when you go to a glory hole, unless stated otherwise, it’s only about oral sex. No one has the right to coerce you into anything other than what you are comfortable doing. Do not think because you are a submissive that you owe a dominant person something you are not comfortable with. Do what you came to do and enjoy it.
No Means No
In a situation such as being at a glory hole, you generally haven’t sat down and communicated prior to the encounter, and it is unlikely to happen. You went there to suck cock! That said, keep your wits about you and don’t fall into a situation you may regret afterward. Be clear in your yes or no responses to requests, and if the person doesn’t listen, you can get loud in order to keep yourself safe.
I hope you remember these three posts about safe, sane and consensual acts of sex.
Lots of other mistresses have spoken on the same topic, and if you’d like to drop a link in the comments, I’m sure the other readers would appreciate it!
Clarity is absolutely a must. To me this is the most important rule of SSC. So many submissives are trying to please to the point of doing things they hate. It should not be so! Agreements are important in BDSM lifestyle. Great Post Ms Stephanie
Ms. Cassandra- Clarity in communication is vital! I think I shall add that to my lessons in communication. Thanks for stopping by, and thanks for the compliment!
Ms. Stephanie,
These three posts were a wonderful way to explain SSC. The main take away from this one that I picked up on – and tell my subs all the time – is that you are submissive, you’re not a doormat. The way a sub derives pleasure may be different from the way the Domme is getting hers, but they should both be having fun!
Ms. Delia
Exactly, Ms. Delia- and thank you for stopping by with such thoughtful comments. I love the doormat analogy, I’ll have to remember it if I can’t get my point across to a caller who thinks submissive means “I’ll do anything!